I had my first drink today after being sober for over two years. A sweet, pinkish sparkling wine chosen for me by a wine "advisor" at Le carafe in Hell's Kitchen. I don't know what it was that made me decide to drink - the soft lighting, single flower, gas lighters in the wine bar helped. Maybe watching Wit and having to relive time spent in various hospitals tipped me over. I'd forgotten the crisp edge wine has - the way it cuts into your tongue. Of course, I was tipsy after one small glass and on the cab ride home sent some inappropriate messages to people who should not be named. But drinking that glass of wine and watching that play pushed me to finally start this blog. I've been wanting, for a very long time now, to have a space - semi-private - where I can record my musings. I don't know if what I have to say has any literary value but it will definitely be cathartic for me to start writing about my personal landscape again. A shout out to my sister who planted the seed in my mind and also gave me the idea of sharing the blog with my closest friends. Wit made me want to write about being an English major who loses her ability to read because of medication she takes for bipolar disorder. There's a lot that lithium has taken away from me but I've decided to reclaim some of it. Things have really changed from the livejournal days when I would obsessively blog about everything. Now I'd be happy just to share a few scraps of the life I live when no one is watching.
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